An Unexpected Hobby
by Niori
Summary: So, what exactly does Bernard get up to in his spare time?


An- God, I can't believe I wrote this. Seriously, I can't believe it. This is what happens when you're running on too much coffee, too little sleep and getting your ass kicked by the term paper from hell (damn you Imperial Russia!). You get the strangest ideas, and feel like it's a good idea to share them with the world. It's Unmentioned Hobbies week over on Megamind LiveJournal, and this is my contribution. The idea came from re-watching some Supernatural episodes, especially the episode where Becky the super fan is introduced (if you've seen it, you'll know what I mean). I warn you now, there is **SLASH**, but it's...a weird kind of slash. It's not real slash…you know what, you'll see what I mean. Anyway, enjoy my randomness.

l.l.l.

_Metro Man was on his knees. There was some sort of rope wrapped around his body, and try as he might, he couldn't rip it. It held him to the ground as well, immobilizing him. He didn't know what it was that was holding him, only that he couldn't break it. For the first time, His super strength was proving to be useless. After all these years, Megamind had finally won._

_Megamind was standing in front of him, grinning from ear to ear. There was a savage glee in his eyes, and it should have terrified Metro Man. Megamind had been trying to kill him for years, and now he finally had him at his mercy. What would he do now? Did he have a way to kill him prepared? What if he didn't? What would he do to him in the meantime? So, why wasn't Metro Man scared?_

_It was…thrilling, seeing Megamind like this. Oh, the cocky and self assured demeanour he was used to, but this, this was so much more than that. This was a truly victorious Megamind, and he looked every inch the villain he proclaimed himself to be. He was just too…fantastic._

_There had to be something wrong with him if he was thinking about how magnificent his nemesis looked in his triumph. He must have taken a blow to the head that actually made an impact, it was the only explanation. _

"_Hmmm…what to do with you now?" It was the first thing Megamind had said to him after his initial dance of glee, and the tone was one Metro Man had never heard before. It was dark, soft and smooth as velvet. It was husky and low, and held temptation and promises of sin to come._

_Metro Man should have made some witty comment, or at least demand that the villain release him, but his mouth was dry. It was becoming hard to swallow, and he couldn't even begin to think up any sort of comeback. _

"_So many possibilities," the way that Megamind said the word' possibilities' made the hair on the back of Metro Man's neck stand up on end._

_Megamind was walking towards him, gleeful grin transformed into a cruel smirk and an eyebrow raised mockingly. The walk was slow and leisurely, and for what might have been the first time, Metro Man noticed everything about the other alien. He noticed the gracefulness in that cocky strut, the way the tight leather clung to every inch of his slender, and yet subtly muscled body. His eyes were greener than any he had ever seen before, and right now, they sparkled and glowed. How that wicked little goatee was the touch that made him look absolutely sinister…and sexy as hell. _

_The thought entered Metro Man's mind, and he reared back from it. It shocked him to the core, but now that it was there, he couldn't dismiss it. He wasn't just finding this Megamind thrilling, but arousing. So arousing in fact, that his body was readily responding to it. He was horrified by the feeling. Horrified or not, it didn't stop his heart from racing and breath from stopping when Megamind finally came to stop in front of him. _

"_Let's see if that mouth is good for something other than witty banter, shall we?" _

_Metro Man's eyes widened, but a small shiver went through his body. He wanted-_

"-nard! Bernard!"

Bernard glanced up from his computer screen, breaking off in the middle of a sentence. He looked up to see his boss, Thomas, glaring at him from the doorway of the staff room. For anyone else, that glare would have caused worry, but Bernard just looked back impassively.

"What?" His question was dry and bored, the only difference from usual being the hint of irritation. He had been on a roll there, and being interrupted was annoying.

"Ritchie is here- it's time for the interview prep."

Bernard only vaguely remembered something about an interview. He figured it was probably one of those times Thomas had made the agreement for him, and then he had in turn completely tuned out Thomas when he went to explain the details. It was coming up to the tenth anniversary of Megamind and Metro Man's first battle, so Bernard concluded that that was probably the occasion.

He considered ignoring the summons and going back to his writing. He had promised his fellow Megamind Fan Club Online members a new chapter tonight (he was just getting to the good stuff after all, and his fellow fan clubbers were an impatient bunch), and it wasn't like he would be doing anything during the interview anyway. As the resident Megamind expert, the news stations always wanted his presence at interviews (especially the anniversary of so-and-so ones), but they never actually used his intelligence or insight, as useful as they were. The only questions ever directed his way were ones that required no more than one word answers that had been repeated millions of times before. Normally, that would suit him just fine, but it just made everything that much more boring. He was a token presence at best, and completely overshadowed by whatever Metro Man 'expert' (hacks, the lot of them) or, God forbid, Metro Man himself, was sharing the screen with him.

Why everyone was so entranced with Metro Man when it was clear that Megamind was _infinitely_ more interesting was beyond him. Bernard chalked it up to the collective idiocy of the human race, and reminded himself that that was one of the reasons he tried to keep his interactions with them to a minimum.

"Bernard!" Tom's voice sounded on the verge of threatening firing. Bernard was more than familiar with the tone, and was not worried in the slightest. He heard that tone at least once a day, usually after some moron or another complained about his 'appalling lack of social skills or personality of a zombie'. Thomas was never going to do anything about it, because Bernard was the only Megamind expert around, and as ill-used as he was, they considered him necessary. Besides, there was no one else qualified to run the 'villain' section of the Metro Man Museum that would be opening up in a few months. They were never going to get rid of him.

Though, if he did just ignore it and put his trust in the fact that he was much too important to fire (and really, he knew he was), he'd still have to listen to Thomas bitch, probably for days. That was always annoying. Giving an irritated sigh, Bernard closed his laptop and prepared himself for two boring hours that he would never get back.

l.

An- So, there you have it! My version of Bernard's unmentioned hobby is writing Megamind/Metro Man slash (you know that somewhere in the Megamind universe, someone is doing it!). Also, sorry it's badly written slash (first time I have ever tried it, and God knows I'll never try it again- and hey, I can always claim that Bernard just wrote bad slash, right?). This is probably a lot more funnier in my exhausted mind than in real life, but whatever. I'm kinda nervous about this, so if you didn't like it and wish to express that, please be gentle with me? Okay? Peace, Love & Rainbows everybody!


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